There are a few select phrases that I despise hearing at work. Mostly because I hear them so very many times in a day.
- ME: Would you like a bag?
THEM: If you’ve got one.
Of course I’ve got one. I work in a fucking shop. And I offered you one.
- ME: Would you like a bag?
THEM: Can you spare one?
Well, I’ll be a wall less on the bag fort I was making, but I guess I’ll have to make a sacrifice.
- ME: Would you like a bag?
THEM: No thanks, I’ve got my own.
I don’t so much hate this phrase, as hate the look of smugness that the customer just can’t help plaster on their face after having said it.
- ME: *folding a jumper*
THEM: You must do that a thousand times a day.
Yes. And yet you still make a mess! I also hear that joke a thousand times a day.
- ME: *mundane tasks*
THEM: I’ve left some clothes that I don’t want in the fitting room.
Ok, kudos to you for letting me know, but… you walked halfway across the shop to tell me that. Could you not have brought me the clothes?
- ME: *doing shit*
THEM: About six years ago, a got a coat from one of your shops in… I think it was Rhyl… Or was it Paignton? Or was it… Anyway, do you still stock them?
If you got it six years ago, do you honestly think we still stock them? Also, I DON’T CARE WHERE YOU GOT IT FROM.
- ME: *hanging myself from boredom*
THEM: Excuse me, I was in your shop in Oobly Floobly the other day and they had a black jacket, why don’t you have it?
Well, either we do have it and you didn’t look, or you should have bought it from the shop you saw it in.
Anyway, if everyone could refrain from saying these things to me, you would make my job a lot happier.
